I believe in the transformative power of appropriate goal setting as a healing tool. 

When we set goals that align with our nervous system’s capacity for safety and regulation, we create a foundation for sustainable growth.

I often tell my clients (and remind myself) that healing is “part spinach, part magic.” The magic comes from healing methods that tap into the unconscious and ignite transformation. The spinach is about goal setting and discipline—practical steps that provide structure and stability for growth. 

We’re focusing on spinach today.

Trauma-informed goal setting blends discipline with compassion to support those rebuilding a relationship with themselves after chaotic or harmful experiences.

Cleotha’s Story: A Subtle Struggle with Goals

Cleotha always prided herself on being a dependable, hard worker. Growing up in a household where emotions ran high and unpredictability was the norm, she learned to keep her head down and focus on the task at hand. “If I just stay quiet and work hard,” she told herself, “everything will be okay.”

In her early 30s, Cleotha started to notice a pattern. She’d set ambitious goals-–like running a half marathon or finally switching to a more fulfilling career—only to find herself stuck weeks later. She’d lose momentum, feel overwhelmed, or tell herself the timing wasn’t right. 

She would look at her trainers arranged in a neat line by the door—untouched for weeks—and feel the pit of her stomach sink into the floor. She began to wonder if something was wrong with her. “Why can’t I just follow through like other people?” she thought.

Cleotha didn’t realize that her past experiences were shaping her approach to goals in ways she couldn’t yet see. The chaos of her childhood had taught her to prioritize security and stability over risk and aspiration.

Like many trauma survivors, Cleotha’s nervous system interpreted big goals as threats, triggering feelings of overwhelm and shutdown. It wasn’t until she began to explore how trauma and the nervous system work that she realized her patterns weren’t failures—they were survival strategies.

Have you noticed similar patterns in your relationship with goals? What might be shaping them?

Why Goal Setting Is Challenging for Trauma Survivors

Cleotha’s journey highlights a truth many trauma survivors face: the barriers to achieving goals often run deeper than motivation. To understand this, we need to explore how trauma shapes the nervous system and our beliefs about change.

Goal setting can feel unstable or even threatening for individuals with trauma because it triggers: 

• Limiting beliefs: Trauma can create deep unconscious body-beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not worthy of success.” I call this a body-belief to emphasize that changing the thoughts alone does not address the body feeling.

• Fears of failure or success: Even positive change can feel overwhelming, as it may bring new pressures or expose vulnerabilities.

• Perfectionism: The need to get it right or get it fast comes from a history of trying to stave off chaos and punishment.

• Self-doubt: Constant chaos makes self-trust a challenge. Children and many adults default to blaming themselves in impossible situations as a survival mechanism.

Past experiences of unpredictability or harm can make envisioning the future or trusting oneself feel overwhelming. When someone’s past has been filled with unexpected pain or chaos, they may come to expect that the future will inevitably bring more of the same. 

This belief creates a sense of helplessness: “If bad things always happen no matter what I do, how can I trust myself to create a positive outcome—or trust life itself to unfold in a way that supports me?” This deeply ingrained perspective can block goal-setting by making hope and planning feel not only futile but emotionally threatening. 

For example: a person may self-sabotage by setting overly ambitious goals or avoid setting them entirely. Either behavior prevents the change that occurs when goals are set, pursued in a methodical way, and completed.

Traditional goal setting often fails to account for emotional readiness and nervous system regulation. SMART goals are a wonderful way to set goals. This goal setting system was created in 1981 by George T. Doran and has a proven track record for supporting humans in achieving goals with success. SMART stands for:

• Specific: The goal clearly states what will be done and who will do it. 

• Measurable: The goal includes how the action will be measured. 

• Achievable: The goal is attainable within a certain time frame. 

• Relevant: The goal is aligned with overall objectives. 

• Time-bound: The goal includes a deadline and is realistic

In fact, we often use SMART goals when creating treatment plans for therapy clients. While SMART goals are an excellent tool for creating structure, they don’t address the emotional readiness or nervous system stability needed for someone with trauma to feel safe pursuing them. 

For Cleotha, a SMART goal might look perfect on paper but feel impossible in her body.

By blending the structure of SMART goals with trauma-informed principles—like starting small, focusing on stability, and acknowledging limiting beliefs—survivors can create goals that feel stable, empowering, and achievable.

Key Principles of Trauma-Informed Goal Setting:

Focus on Stability: Goals must feel emotionally stabilizing. People with trauma often equate goals with pressure or failure, so the process must emphasize stability over productivity

• Tip: Ask, “Does this goal feel stable and achievable, or does it activate feelings of fear or overwhelm?”

Start Small and Build Capacity: Trauma can make long-term planning feel paralyzing. Starting with small, manageable goals helps rebuild self-trust and create a sense of momentum.

• Example: Instead of “I’m going to start a successful business," start with, “I’ll call or message five potential client leads per week so I can get some practice delivering my service.”

Focus on Process Over Outcome: Trauma survivors often have a hyper-focus on perfection or results. Reframing goals as processes rather than fixed endpoints helps reduce pressure.

• Tip: Set goals like, “I will run 30 minutes, 3 time this week,” instead of, “I’ll run a marathon by March.”

Acknowledge Limiting Beliefs: Trauma survivors often encounter inner critical voices or fears (e.g., “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll always fail”). Part of goal setting is recognizing and working with these beliefs rather than letting them sabotage progress.

• Reflection: What does your inner voice say when you think about this goal? Is it kind, or does it criticize?

• Tip: after identifying the limiting belief, listen to a hypnosis recording or guided meditation that counters that belief without making the belief bad or trying to get it to go away.

Incorporate Nervous System Awareness: When goals feel too big, they can activate the fight-flight-freeze response. Trauma-informed goal setting integrates tools like grounding, mindfulness, and nervous system regulation to help people stay present.

• Example: Pair goal-setting sessions with a grounding exercise–like 25 shallow, gentle lunges on each foot, walking barefoot in the grass, or this grounding dance routine–to reduce overwhelm.

Celebrate Progress and Self-Compassion: Trauma survivors often struggle to celebrate what went well or practice self-compassion when they fall short. Encouraging regular reflection and celebration can counteract this pattern. Celebration is a practice!

• Tip: After a step forward, ask, “What went well, and how can I honor this progress?” Even if the goal was not met, we can always learn something from the process.

Practical Framework for Trauma-Informed Goal Setting:

When setting goals as a trauma survivor, the process must prioritize stability, flexibility, and connection to values over productivity. This framework offers practical tools to help create goals that feel stable and empowering, nurturing growth in a way that aligns with emotional readiness and self-compassion.

Visioning Through Stability: Create a vision for the future that feels inspiring and not overwhelming. Know that a smaller, less overwhelming vision can become a bigger one when the overall sense of instability has decreased.

• Prompt: “What’s one small thing I’d like to invite into my life this month?”

Use Flexible Goals: Focus on adaptability. Goals can shift as emotional readiness changes.

• Phrase: “I aim to… if it feels right this week.”

Incorporate Rest and Boundaries: Trauma survivors often overextend themselves, which is really a form of procrastination and self-sabotage. Goals should explicitly include time for rest and boundary-setting. Rest is a strategy!

• Example: “I will turn off work notifications after 6 p.m. one day this week to practice setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.”

Align Goals with Values: Trauma survivors often feel disconnected from their sense of purpose. Anchoring goals in personal values helps rebuild this connection.

• Prompt: “What do I care about most, and how can this goal reflect that?”

• Activity: try this value sort if you are unclear about your values—Value Card Sort Exercise

The Emotional Side of Goals

Achieving goals isn’t just about strategy—it’s also about navigating the emotional landscape that arises during the process. For trauma survivors, the path to reaching goals can be fraught with fears, dissociation, and self-doubt, making emotional support as essential as practical planning. This section explores common emotional triggers in goal execution and provides tools to foster resilience and self-compassion along the way.

Triggers in Execution:

• Fear of success: Achieving a goal might bring attention, responsibility, or change, which can feel overwhelming.

• Fear of failure: Trauma survivors may equate failure with personal worthlessness, making it hard to risk falling short.

• Dissociation: Goals can feel irrelevant or distant when survivors disconnect from their bodies or emotions. They may set a goal one day and the next it vanishes from their minds.

Tools for Emotional Support:

• Journal or talking with a friend about fears and limiting beliefs before starting. Then write what the more helpful belief and mindset would be.

• Imagine what the completed goal would look like and the impact it would have on one's life. Doing so prepares your being for change makin the change less scary and challenging.

• Somatic and mindfulness practices to re-ground when avoidance kicks in. Guided meditations and hypnosis recordings can help counteract limiting beliefs. When in doubt, move your body.

• Use affirmations like, “I’m allowed to grow at my own pace,” “Completing goals makes me feel good but does not define my worth,” ”Learning and growing with this goals is fun and interesting!”

• Set goals with a buddy. Trauma can be isolating. When it feels ok to do so, having an accountability buddy or a group is a powerful way to work on goals in community.

Notice how calm, methodical goal completion is the opposite of the random punishment and chaos many grew up in or experienced through high demand groups and relationship abuse. 

Reframe goal setting as a compassionate practice of healing, positive self-regard, growth, and empowerment. By approaching goals through a trauma-informed lens, individuals can create a sustainable relationship with themselves and their aspirations, building self-trust and resilience over time. 

What’s New at Prosopon

As we apply these principles in our work, here’s what we’ve been focused on recently:

This year has been a big one for us! From taking over an 8-office suite to completing key foundational trainings, we’ve embraced significant growth. I’m confident that our hard work and commitment to holistic somatic practices are paving the way for an exciting 2025.

• Gabby is collaborating with women’s health groups to deepen her exploration of the connection between hormones and trauma.

• Lauren is making progress in her Sensorimotor Level One training and diving into the nuances of working with nervous system regulation versus addressing childhood wounds.

• Liz successfully taught her first class on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Nervous System Modulation at Naropa University. Students have shared enthusiastic feedback about how much they’ve learned and enjoyed the class.

• The Prosopon team has been refining our business systems to create a more supportive and empowering experience for clients and staff alike.

• Inspired by trauma-informed principles, we’ve been aligning our vision for 2025 with practices that prioritize stability, adaptability, and growth at every level of our work.

Hopes, Fears, and Salves

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the journey of growth and transition we’ve experienced at Prosopon. In this spirit, I want to share my hopes, fears, and the small practices that have helped me stay grounded and connected to our larger purpose.

Hopes

• That the seeds we’ve planted this year will bloom into something vibrant and sustainable in 2025.

• That our team’s fledgling connection to one another strengthens and ripples out into the community creating a positive impact.

• That somatic and nervous system awareness it the next big thing, fostering more sanity and compassion in all systems that support humans and especially the health care system.

Fears

• With big transitions often comes uncertainty, and I’ve felt the weight of holding space for so much growth at once. Will this foundation we’ve built be strong enough to support the vision we’re reaching for?

• No matter how hard you work, luck is a factor. Will fortune be on our side?

• Once you learn about trauma, you tend to see how its working everywhere. Will enough people begin to see the world this way to move into an era of compassion and true humanitarianism?

Salves:

• I’ve been leaning into small, restorative moments—like savoring a cup of coffee in the stillness of early morning or taking a mindful walk in the crisp Colorado air. These practices remind me that stability isn’t found in perfection or completion but in the present. Rest, after all, is strategy, and I’m learning to embrace that truth more fully each day.

• Fortune favors the brave and that is exactly what we have been this year.

• I can’t control the perceptions of the public but I can light a candle, perform rituals, and say prayers that all beings may live in peace, connection, and joy. These personal rituals not only sustain me but remind me of the deeper purpose behind our work at Prosopon.